The Bravest Thing I’ve Ever Done…. (Is “Bravest” even a word?)

Posted by jill.ellingson • 5 comments

The first time you decide to write, to share, to publish, to open a piece of yourself up to the world, is… terrifying (for me anyway – a closet introvert, social media shy, private, over-thinker). What if it is just “ok?”  What if it actually sucks?  What if people think I’m a terrible writer? (I mean, I had to look up the word in my blog title to see if it was even a word, and I’m still not sure!).  What if no one really cares about what I have to say or share?

As I pondered all sorts of ideas and inspiration on how to write an introductory blog post, all I kept hearing was more negative chatter in my brain (“You can’t really do this,” “That’s a dumb idea to write about,” “That’s an even dumber idea to write about!” “Is dumber even a word, or just part of a movie title?”).  Oh I’d like to punch that inner critic and liar that lives in many of our brains right out!  But, I decided that if I don’t start with SOMETHING, I’ll never start, and that would be really sad.  Because then fear wins, and I’m not a fan of fear (spiders and caves are exempt!).  Or rather, I’m not a fan of fear getting in the way of something that I really aspire to do.  I don’t consider myself brave, but every single client that walks through my door sure is.   If I can’t be brave and take risks, how can I help others do the same?  I want to live out the name of my practice (Brave Soul) every day and not let fear or insecurities get in the way.

Well,  guess what?  I did punch that inner critic and liar who sometimes occupies my brain, and knocked her out long enough to write my first post.  So before she comes to, let’s get this thing published and be ok with GOOD ENOUGH – a concept that took me a bazillion years to embrace as a recovering perfectionist.

Good Enough.  Ahh…. I breathe easier when I speak these words.  I feel lighter.  I am kinder to myself.  The corners of my mouth tingle a little from my perma-grin.  My nutcracker tight shoulder stance softens.  My breathing slows down.  I pause.  I open my arms and my heart and fully embrace the huge, warm, shining love fest of light in front of me that is Good Enough. 

Yes, writing is the bravest thing I’ve ever done.  And I think that is a word actually.

 

 

 

5 Responses

  1. Gman says:

    Good enough for sure. More than good enough! Well written. Looking forward to reading more as you explore and share the brave new world of being open!

  2. Emily Sikora says:

    And you’re one of the bravest souls I know, Jill! I’m so excited to see and your words on a page! Made me think of one of my favorite writing quotes…

    “You are going to feel like hell if you never write the stuff that is tugging on the sleeves in your heart–your stories, visions, memories, songs: your truth, your version of things, in your voice. That is really all you have to offer us, and it’s why you were born.” ~ Anne Lamott

  3. Jenn Bierma says:

    As someone who used the word terrifying over and over again as I worked on outing my own writing, my heart sings to see your words on this screen. I have found that one of the most important contributions I can make in this world is showing people the strength to be vulnerable and honest. Your vulnerability, honesty and strength are what I see in this post. You are such an inspiration!

  4. Melinda says:

    This is amazing and I can’t thank you enough for sharing.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *